Aku pula time tu memang perlukan laptop. So, our parent
decided nak belikan satu for me. Hari itu ialah hari Sabtu, 2 Jun 2011. But,
fadhilah wasn’t happy at all. She kept on crying non-stop and I forced her to
go out. As usual,dia kena pakai mask bila nak keluar. That’s why she doesn’t
want to go out. She will keep telling me that people will look at her everywhere
she go but I don’t care. Aku nak beli juga laptop on that day. X kisah la orang
lain nak cakap apa. Bodoh kan? Adik sakit tapi aku tetap selfish.
Lepas maghrib, malam tu juga we all keluar. Fadhilah diam
and x happy langsung. Tapi aku x kisah. We went to Megamall tp semua kedai PC
tutup. Aku dah mula tarik muka. So, kena patah balik to Sunway Carnival Mall.
Dah pukul 9 lebih tp nasib baik ada kedai PC Dell yg still buka. Fadhilah still
diam and dia mula nangis diam2. Aku? Tetap x kisah. Masa kat kedai PC, she just
berdiri kat luar n crying alone. Aku pula dah teruja dengan laptop2 yng ada. No
one is paying attention to her. After a while, I finally bought a laptop and I was
very happy. Fadhilah hanya stand at the door looking at me without saying
anything.
Mak dah promise nak bawa dia makan pizza malam tu. Just to
cheer her up since pizza hut is her favourite place. But we all x makan at
sunway,we went straight to pizza hut raja uda. In the car, fadhilah just keep
on crying and crying. Maybe she feels that this will be the last time we, 6 of
us a family go out and eat at a restaurant. Aku x tahu apa yang dia rasa sebab
im not in her situation tp dia memang sedih sangat malam itu. Aku pula keep on
scolding her sebab dah x tahan dengar dia nangis. Dia diam but air mata still
mengalir and dia nangis x berbunyi sebab aku marahkan dia. At the restaurant,
dia makan sikit saja and x cakap langsung. Aku? Aku happy sangat sebab aku
dapat laptop for the first time and dapat makan sekeluarga. We talked n laughed
but she sat at her place,with her beautiful face just looking at me,my brother
n my youngest sister as if kami dah jauh dengan dia. Bila terkenang semua ni, rasa
mcam masa berjalan dengan lambat dan aku mula membayangi every detail on what
had happened that night.
Balik rumah pun dah lambat. Almost midnight. Both of us masuk
bilik. Aku dah mula focus on my lappy but fadhilah,dia terduduk atas katil
smbil bersandar kat dinding and keep on looking at me. Makin lama, makin deras air mata dia keluar. Dia
tetap duduk menghadapi aku tp aku duduk membelakangi dia. She wants to talk to
me but her tears can’t stop. Me? I just ignore her sebab dah terlalu teruja dgn
lappy. Jahatnya aku time tu. Kakak yang
xberguna smpaikan adik sndiri x dipedulikan when she needs me. Sehingga dia
buka mulut and cakap, esok dia kena masuk balik hospital. Dia x nak balik ke
sana. Dia cakap dia penat. Dia x larat. Dia nak duduk kat rumah. Dia hanya
meraung. Aku diam. Don’t know what to do. Nasib baik mak ada and she comforts
fadhilah. ALHAMDULLILAH, pagi esok,fadhilah bangun dengan senang hati dan
bersedia utk bailk ke hospital. The first thing I saw that morning when I woke
up was her smile. The smile is back, I said to myself. Dia dah boleh terima and
bersemangat utk pulih…
Sampai sekarang,masih terngiang2 apa yang fadhilah cakap malam
tu and hati aku rasa macam dikoyak-koyak. Pedih rasanya kalau teringat semua ni. Orang
kata aku ni ego, kasar tapi hati aku
siapa yang tahu kecuali Allah SWT, Maha Esa dan Maha Yang Memahami semua hati
hamba-hambanya. Aku sayangkan Fadhilah with all of my heart and siapa pun x
akan berjaya replace her in my heart. Ada orang pernah cakap, cukuplah dengan
memori yang kita pernah berkongsi bersama utk terus menyatukan kita di hati
masing2. Aku rasa setakat ni saja yang mampu aku tulis tentang fadhilah. The rest
biarlah tersimpan di dalam hati seorang kakak yang senantiasa menyayangi dan
merindui adiknya.Al- Fatihah buat adik tersayang,Nur Fadhilah Bt Mohd Zaki. I
love you always.
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| Family Vacay in Langkawi Fadhilah&Fathin |
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